Everyday Love Stories, Pizza Dude

I have fallen head over heels in love with Pizza Dude. Pizza Dude smells of spicy sausage and underachievement. When he asks, "Do you need anything else Ma'am?", I want to answer "Yes. A healthy nutritious meal filled with warm loving abeyance, candle light and soft upbeat music. Perferably in the company of a well groomed reasonably intelligent adult (male) in possession on a sense of humor and selflessness."
But when I answer, "No, I'm good.", Pizza Dude just grabs my cash and slams the door on me.
The river of tears I cry leave my sauced face splotchy. I never get the chance to tell him goodbye.

Everyday Love Stories, Josh

I have fallen head over heels in love with Josh. Josh smells of testosterone and gym mats. His bicep circumference is larger than his IQ, but when he flexes, Lycra is my best friend. I clap my hands and squeel like I am the retart. When Josh tells me of the wheelie he popped to win back his ex-girlfriend, I sob big beefy tears.

EveryDay Love Stories, Norm

I have fallen head over heels with saliport Norm. Norm smells of Old Spice and compliance. Every morning I step into the saliport in front of Norm's observation desk. Sometimes, when I am brave, I do not scan my badge before entering. Norm will say, "Try scanning your badge again, you did not show up." That's my Norm. He notices me. Someday my Norm will say "Good Morning". That day I will know he loves me too.

90 Degrees of My Heart

I love you AC
it purrs a chilled reply
we need each other

Then and Now

I don't know. You tell me which came first.

Then and Now

When he was born, he weighted the same as 2 blocks of butter.

Now and Then

Then



Now

Just What I'm Made Of

I’m cobbled together haphazardly, bits and pieces of everything I’ve ever seen and some I've only imagined. Though if you disassemble me and inspect the parts, you won’t find me there. No essence, no depth, no soft or hard core, no creamy center. I’m a container and mostly self-contained, just use caution if you pop the lid. I’m a uncompleted jigsaw puzzle, a mosaic of recycled scraps, a journal of selected memories randomly recorded in my sleep.

Tropical Soughing

There. I did all I had to do. I planted the seed.
"Ooh-we could have us some fun in Mexico."
I smiled when I seen the image of us frolicking in the balmy surf take root in his eye. The illicit taboo. Secret and forbidden.
We could have fun, but I do not intend for him to go with me. He will come up with an excuse not to go. I am counting on it.
It will be his guilty conscious that will send me.

Baby Fears

Ten things that scared me, age seven.


Dads dress shoes.
The deep end.
The word eternal.
Aunt Tillie's cloak.
Beets.
Horses.
Whooppee John.
The attic.
Division.
My sister leaving me.

Three of these things still frighten me.

Gas Haiku

Honda's sound like farts
You stink and pass me by
Laughing to the bank.

Deport Moi?

Ten of the most un-American things I've done.

10 Rooted for the Russian in Rocky 4.

9 Enjoyed voting.

8 Answered those stupid rude Brits at the beach in Finland by swearing at them, telling them part of my phone number and a couple foods in Finnish, when they asked me about the bus in English.

7- Knew the words to "Oh Canada", before the "Star Spangled Banner."

6 Loves Jimmy Carter.

5 Doesn't buy that moon landing conspiracy.

4 Blows things up all year long.

3 Is not self entitled.

2 Is confused by the song "Be Kind to Your Web Footed Friends". "Huh? Why do they sing about ducks to be patriotic?"

1 Has never watched an intire "Idol".

I'M SPARTICUS

The saddest thing I every saw
was once fearless cowboys
washed up on the asphalt shore

No one yells I'm Spartacus anymore